The Fashion of Theology and Hearts

Juneau Alaska is... undoubtedly... one of the most beautiful places, i have ever seen with my eyes (38+ USA states, 20+ countries by 'quick count)

yet i never actually considered such a time when the Spirit of God, in all its power and beauty, would inhabit my hometown mightily.

i sense and hope and pray that this day would be and possibly is, drawing near with every sunset and sunrise absent day that is solely a characteristic of Juneau's equinox solar patterns and spiritual state.

i worry.

i fear that like a battery running low on power, so that the work that God is doing may start to lose power, on our accounts (never His)
i fear that i may pray (in voice for Jesus) the same statement that Jesus cried over Jerusalem

Jerusalem, Jerusalem, who kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to her! How often I wanted to gather your children together, the way a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were unwilling.

When He approached Jerusalem, He saw the city and wept over it

i surrender these anxieties to the Lord.

We often view the process that we have so colorlessly yet simply picturesquely deems as "dying to self" as one that is a public spectacle that everyone seems to feel inclined to witness.

watch me die

if you can

because i intend for my cross-carrying death
to take place on the altar.

in the holy of holies, where not all may enter.

because, many of us die
some would say we're always dying inside

most of these are dying outside the camp, as far away as possible from the One

( i think it's safe to say that their amount of distance is translatable to their rate of deceasing, not realizing that Life is found in Him, that healing is found in the Healer, and that the darkness that can dull and kill so slowly yet so rapid as to become uncontainable is dispelled and diminished in His Glorious Light)

it's paradoxical to say that Abundant and Vibrant life is found on dying on the altar, presenting our bodies as a living sacrifice, a sweet smelling aroma unto the Living One...

but paradoxical ideals and ideas are most certainly the ideals and ideas that carry the most weight and depth

these paradoxical conceptions, are the only things that can affect and transform and advance

this is a concept, needing much expansion - Christianity is full of paradoxical states, which, seemingly, is exactly why it works